


Alexis and Elowyn take a walk in the woods

by DruidX



Series: The Vexations of Elo O'Toreguarde [1]
Category: Titan - The Fighting Fantasy World
Genre: Angst, Aunt-Niece Relationship, Forests, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Mother-Daughter Relationship, Other, POV First Person, Revenge, shouting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-10
Updated: 2018-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:02:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26465356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DruidX/pseuds/DruidX
Summary: Set before Elowyn takes her new name and becomes a Watchman, while she is still being trained by her mentor, Alexis Dalliance. The two go for a training session in the woods outside Torguard, where Elo learns a terrible secret her Aunt/ Mentor has been keeping from her.When they return, there is an equally fraught argument between Alexis and her old friend Selene Fridgewake.
Relationships: Alexis Dalliance & Elowyn O'Toreguarde
Series: The Vexations of Elo O'Toreguarde [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1902259
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2





	1. Chapter 1

"What are we doing out here again?" I complained, shivering in the damp and chilly air.  
"I'm doing what you asked," she said, "I'm training you."  
I cast my eyes over the dripping trees and soggy bushes surrounding us as we walked. "But that doesn't explain why we're out here in the woods, and not back in the city." I pointed a thumb over my shoulder, back in the vague direction of Torguard.   
"Tell me what you think you would learn in the city that you could not learn out here?" she asked me, with a hint of irritableness. It was near mid-morning, and Alexis and I had been tromping through a small copse of trees to the west of the city since first light. The weather had maintained a steady greyness, a heavy drizzle soaking through our cloaks and boots.  
"Well, I..." I found I couldn't actually answer her question, but if anything it made me grumpier. I tried a different tact. "I heard you and Mam talking, you know. I heard you saying you want to set me up as a Watchman." She turned back towards me, her green eyes vibrant in the gloom, and gave a questioning look. "Not that there's anything wrong with that, but surely I'll be working in the city, so shouldn't I be learning how to work paved streets, not dirt tracks?"  
"No," she said, turning back to the woods. "The Watch will teach you enough of that, I'm sure. I've taught you all I can in the city. Out here you will learn a wider range of skills." She paused and crouched down, motioning me to do the same. I did so, falling silent and watching her. She seemed to be keeping her gaze on a patch of bramble ahead and to our left. I peered in the same direction, seeing nothing. My legs were starting to cramp in the cool air, and I was about to break the silence and complain when there was a rustle. The bush we had been staring intently at shivered. Droplets of water showered down over the pelt of a badger as it shuffled out, sniffing the air. I released a breath I hadn't realized I was holding and was about to stand when Alexis's hand shot back to press on my knee. Confused, and muscles complaining, I swallowed my protest and remained crouched, as she tapped the leg again, a 'stay-put' gesture. Slowly she retracted her hand, and I watched as she cautiously drew her bow and loaded it, never taking her eyes from the creature paused in front of us.

Then there was a thrum of the bowstring, the whistle of wind in the fletch, a thud and the badger's startled cry as Alexis's bolt took it between the eyes. A flurry of birds took off from the trees around us, shaking water down to patter on loam and cloak. I wiped my face, as my mentor trod carefully through the bracken ahead and retrieved her prize.  
"Oof, he's heavier than he looked," she said. "Come help me with this Feath." I tromped over, the tang of copper mixing with the warm damp loam, and picked up the creature's hind legs.  
"What did you do that for?" I asked  
"He'll make us a good dinner for tonight," she said, hefting it over her shoulder.   
"I guess... Does Mam have some good recipes for badger then?" I asked. Alexis glanced back at me.  
"Don't know, and won't get to know," she said. "We'll be cooking him ourselves."  
"Wait... You mean we're spending the night out here?" I asked as she started away, further into the copse.  
"Yes. You bought the kit I told you to right?"  
I hesitated. "Yes. Well. Um, most of it?"  
My mentor paused, looking back at me again, wet strands of black hair plastered to her forehead. "Well then, there's a lesson right there. Two in fact: Listen to those more experienced than yourself, and always be prepared." She moved off again without waiting for a comment. I sighed, hitching my pack up to settle better on my shoulders, and followed on.

  
We walked for a while in silence as the drizzle turned into heavier rain.  
"Hrmph, this is going to get worse before it gets better," she said. I wiped my face, pushing damp brown hair out of my eyes, and glanced at the sky. Through a break in the canopy, I saw leaden clouds, puffy with waiting rain.   
"Should we think about shelter?" I asked. Ahead of me, Alexis paused, her short form merging momentarily with the surroundings, black leathers turning her into a shadow. She also glanced again to the sky, frowning in thought.  
"Yes," she said finally. "Those clouds look fit to burst any second." She looked around again, this time at the paths we were following. "This way," she said, taking off.   
I followed on, pulling my cloak tighter as the rain began to pick up and the temperature went down.  
"There's an elm not too far," Alexis was saying, "an old girl, got her trunk hollowed out by age and mice – she'll make a good shelter until-" The rest of her words were drowned out by the sudden torrent of rain that came down. It pummeled my shoulders and my head, chilling me to the marrow. Through the obscuring spray, I saw the back of her cloak flick out as she picked up speed, and matched my pace to hers. I found myself having to run to keep up, worried that I'd lose her in the twists of the wood, and the mists of the downpour. We raced through the brambles and the bracken until there loomed in front of me a giant elm, it's boughs sweeping down as though to enfold me. Though my steps faltered at the sight of it, Alexis never paused but vanished inside the great girl's trunk. I bowled in behind her, finding myself in a snug little room inside the heart of the tree. While a few drops found their way in, it was relatively dry and warm. Alexis pushed her hood back, shaking off the worst of the drops clinging to her cloak, and grinned at me.  
"We'll wait out the worst of it here," she said, pulling out a hip flask. "It may not let up completely, but for the meantime, this will do. Drink?" I took the flask, and a swig, coughing as the booze caught my throat. I handed it back as the alcohol began to warm me through. Alexis took a swig, I pulled out a small pouch of nuts, and we settled down, listening to the rain thundering down against the tree. 

"Look, about your being a Watchman..." Alexis said, after a time. "Oakrose and I just thought-"  
"Oh, don't get me wrong," I said, "it's an interesting idea, and I suppose I might need a trade... but, there's no guarantee I'll be back after I've avenged my family." I gave her what I hoped was an apologetic look.  
Alexis gave me a concerned frown in return, her lips pursed. "Yeah, about that..." She sighed and looked down, idly picking at the rotten timber, shredded on the floor. "Featherdown... There's something I've been meaning to tell you for a while now. Never seemed to be the right moment to say it, but I suppose now is as good as any other..." She sighed again. "There's no one to revenge yourself against, love. They all died in the Demon War."  
"What? How could you possibly know that?" I asked – scoffed, almost.  
"Oh Greg help me," she murmured, rubbing her temples. She opened her eyes again and looked at me. "Feath', do you remember the night we met, in Stonebridge?"  
I frowned. "I think so?"  
"Do you remember that, while we were talking, we hustled you out of the main taproom and into a side room, with the dwarf – Ivan the Hammer?"  
"Ye-es... Yes, I think so."  
"And when I came back, I told you orcs had been in the bar?"  
"Yes!" I felt my spirits lift as the memories slotted into place. "I told you I didn't like orcs, and that I wanted you to train me, so I could avenge my blood family by killing all the orcs in the Ripfang clan. Then you told me those in the bar weren't like that clan – they were lost, like me and Wick' and Mam, and they deserved a home too, so you told them to go to Torguard." I looked at her, smiling, happy she remembered my oath.  
"Yeah," she said in a sombre tone. "I lied."  
I felt my smile fade. "What?"  
"Those twenty or so orcs that came in the bar that day? They were what remained of the Ripfang clan."   
"What?" I said again, with a darker edge.  
I watched the raven-haired woodling, as she carried on, speaking in monotone. "They pledged allegiance to Ivan and me. Something about a vision their shaman had – how they could redeem their sins by finding a dwarf with a special hammer and helping him in a circle of stone." She paused. "Do you know what a slayer is, Feath'?"  
My anger lost traction for a moment, confused at her question. "Uh, yes. It's a dwarf who has committed a dishonour so great only his death can assuage it. But what does this have to do with my revenge?" I added, the heat of anger returning.  
"I turned those orcs into Slayers, dear one," she said gently. "Ivan was the dwarf they sought, and the circle of stone turned out to be the broken walls of Torguard-that-fell. Some fell in the evacuation from Torguard, the rest fell in the final battle against Yagrin." Alexis paused again, watching me carefully. "There's no one left to take your revenge, love."  
"That... That can't be right?"  
"I found all their bodies, Featherdown, in the aftermath. We burnt friend and foe alike, do you recall?"  
I stared at her. Of course I remembered. How could I ever forget the stink of burning, putrid flesh, the oily black smoke rising from dolorous flames?  
"Three I found in the city proper," she continued her face blank, "another five in a pile with a hezouru and some dretch. Two were in a bush – looked like they were half-chewed. One was taken through the chest with a black-fletched arrow, and the last two died fighting back-to-back surrounded by a pile of imps."  
"But, orcs is orcs," I said. "They could have been anyone. How-?"  
"Orcs get branded, did you know that? If they make it to adulthood, they get a tribal brand. For these fellas, it was a notched tooth on the right pectoral. Seen it as soon as they came in the bar. Seen it on every one of 'em I burnt." Alexis finally looked at me again, her eyes haunted. "That's how I know they're all dead. Maybe now you can see your revenge is petty and useless. There's no one left to take your anger, but me and Oakrose. And of us two, I'd rather it be me." She blinked as though coming out of a dream, while I stared, dumbfounded and in shock. "Rain's stopped," she said. "I'll be outside when you're ready."

I sat stock-still, as she rose and left the cosy heart of the elm. I didn't know how to feel. Her revelation left me numb. I'd spent so long imagining the day when I would find those orcs again. How I would stride up to their leader, remind him of what he'd done to me and mine, and then challenge him to a duel. The day-dream never got beyond that point – I had no idea what I would face, and by that point, Alexis was usually barking at me to do this or that. But the idea that no one existed who knew what happened that day, who could die by my hand as my parents did by theirs... It was irreconcilable. A fury grew in me, slowly at first, then incandescent. Someone had to know, someone  _ had _ to have been present. There had to be  _ someone _ who I could make pay for what happened to me. I lost so much that day – my home, my family, my innocence. Didn't I deserve restitution for my losses? Didn't I deserve my  _ talionis _ ? I found myself on my feet, pacing the tiny space. Those orcs shouldn't have had their sins forgiven. Alexis shouldn't have given them that chance. But she didn't know, I reminded myself. How should she have known what they did to me. My blood boiled at the fleeting memories – grey faces too close to mine, pain where there should not ever be pain, rough hands, and laughter to my screams. 

"Aagh!" I struck out against the tree with a cry of frustration and rage. I wanted my payment! I wanted to claim my revenge! I wanted to take my vengeance as a slice of orc hide. But if there was no orc to take it from... I let my fists slump to my sides. How was I supposed to get my closure? How was I supposed to mend this aching hole in my heart? How was I expected to bring the ragged edges together again, and expect them to heal, if I didn't get my pound of flesh? I screamed again, in agony, sobbing like a babe again. What was I supposed to do now? Alexis made it sound like she expected me to get over it and move on, but how could I? I was still lost. Only then did I notice the tears on my face, that I'd fallen to my knees. I knelt for what felt like an age, my pain and anger subsiding, tucking away into a corner of my soul until only the numbness remained. I wiped my face, blew my nose on a leaf, cleared bark and blood from my knuckles, and stood to leave the elm.

  
It was still raining when I got outside. Not a downpour, sure, but heavy enough that I felt guilty for having left my mentor out there. She turned towards me, grim-faced, rain running in rivulets from her shoulders. I frowned – something looked off – then realized her pack sat her feet. Alexis unclasped the button of her cloak, and stepped forward, letting it slide down behind her, as she brought her sword around in a fighting stance.  
"What... Is something wrong?" I asked, instantly alert and casting around, hand going to my own weapon. I looked back to her in time to see a confused look pass over her face, and she relaxed.  
"No, I... I thought-" she shook her head, sheathing her sword. "It's nothing. Nevermind." She stooped, gathering her cloak and pack. "Do your hands need seeing to?"   
I wiped them again on my cloak. "They'll be fine."  
She considered me for a moment, then nodded. "As you say, then. Shall we continue?"  
I paused, looking back at the elm tree. "Where are we going?" I asked, looking back to her. Alexis gave me a small, satisfied smile. "A trapper's hut. Another twenty or so minutes walk North-West. That's where we'll cook this fella and spend the night before we go on back home. Shall we continue?"   
I gave her a cautious nod.  
"Come on then." So saying she hefted the badger back over a shoulder and set off.  
I pulled up my hood and trailed on along after her, dodging puddles and damp foliage.  
"Alexis?"  
"Yeah?"  
"Why are we out here really?" I asked. My mentor glanced back, flashing that little satisfied smile at me again before turning her attention back to her feet.  
"Well, it wasn't to talk to you about being a Watchman, that's for sure," she said, giving a little bark of laughter. "You need to learn woodcraft."  
"You could have taught that in the Gardens, or the Grove of Argowen."  
"But it wouldn't be the same. You'd still know you were in the city. Here you learn self-reliance, hunting, route-making...ah..." she stopped, having run out of things I could be learning. "Anyway, you learn a lot more out here than you could in the Gardens and Groves dedicated to the Gods. It's just me and you out here, at least two hours from any kind of help, against any number of trials and tribulations. If we get into trouble, only we can get ourselves out again. That sounds like a valuable lesson to me right there."  
"Hmph," I said. I had to concede she was right. By bringing us out here, she'd raised the stakes, and made our daily training session more consequential.


	2. Chapter 2

We walked along in silence, navigating muddy paths, an overflowing stream and fallen trees, all while the rain continued to fall. As the sun passed her zenith, the day warmed, producing a mist that, coupled with the still falling rain, made sight through the trees a struggle. We only realized we were approaching the hut as the rabbit path we trod became wider, and well-tended. Up ahead I saw a light, shining through the veil.  
"There, a light!" I said, speeding up. "We must be close." Already I was imagining us sat with full bellies around a little fire, drying out.  
"Wait," Alexis said and caught my arm. "The hut should be in darkness. No one was due to be using it today. Use caution when you check it out."  
"What... me?" I asked, alarmed.  
"Well I don't see anyone else here, do you?"  
"But..." I let out a hiss, reflexively crouching back against a tree, blending in with its shadow, as she'd taught me.  
"I swear to Greg, if I have to put this carcass down again, I'm not gonna be able to pick it back up," Alexis said, then blew out her cheeks with a huff. "I will be right here if you get into any trouble, but you need to learn how to deal with these things."  
I sucked in a few breaths. "Yeah. I know. Just... Give me a moment." Alexis gave a quick nod and turned away. She took a few steps to the other side of the path, dipping into the shadows. I would never have known she was there had I not seen her go myself. I looked at her profile. The badger carcass was at her feet, and Draenenscáth was in her hands, the stock rippling with magic. She was alert, fierce and focused. If I could ever be half as good as her... But that wouldn't happen if I couldn't deal with a little thing like this.   
Alexis glanced back at me. "Remember Bug: Bravery is being shit scared, but doing it anyway," she said, turning her attention back to the light through the mist.  
I stood up, before I could think too hard about being scared, and drew my sword.   
"Do we have a signal?" I asked.  
A smile touched her lips. "Yeah. Loud, panicked screaming."  
"Great..."

Quietly I trod down the path, keeping to the very edges, as I found myself in a wide clearing. The sky was lightening, even if the rain hadn't wholly let up, giving me a good look, and a chance to analyse the situation as I'd been taught. At the center of the clearing stood a low hut, maybe ten-foot square, a well to the front, and a pony tethered under a shelter at the side. Smoke came from a vent hole in the roof, and the glow I'd seen came from a lantern hung from the eaves. I strained my ears to catch the merest sound of bumps and knocks coming from within. There was clearly someone in residence, but did I confront them, or did I go back to let Alexis know? How far did 'check it out' extend? I decided that 'someone' in residence wasn't enough; I had to know who. I snuck forward, and the pony gave a soft wicker at my scent. No one appeared in the doorway, so I continued. There was a little window at the front of the hut, it's shutter open from inside. As I was making towards it, a dwarf appeared in the doorway. I froze, but he carried on towards the well.  
"Ye'll git cramps, standin' stock-still like that in this weather," he said, glancing at me, apparently unconcerned at my presence, as he pulled the cover off and threw a bucket down.  
"I... Uh," I stammered, then collected myself. "Friend or foe?"  
"Well, that entirely depends on whut side ye're standing on, noo doesn't it?" He began hauling the rope back up. "I could say 'friend' and have it turn oot ye wanted ta rob me blind. I could say 'foe', and we have it oot, only ta rock oop in yonder town and see ye sharin' a pint wi'one o'me mates." He hauled the bucket out of the well and placed it on the ground. "It's all a matter o'perspective, aye?"  
I dithered, as he placed a hand on his belt, pushing back a fleece coat to show me a nimble looking warhammer. "Fer whut it's worth lassie, I'll no' transgress against ye, if ye'll swear ta no' transgress against me. I wus jus' gonna put a kettle on. Ye's welcome ta share some coffee, gi'n ye look like a drowned rat, an' all."  
From what I could tell, he was sincere. I could detect no hint of subterfuge or ill will against me. He just seemed like a simple traveller, wet and wearied like me. I sheathed my sword.  
"Agreed," I said. "Don't suppose you have enough for three do you?"

The dwarf cocked a flaming, bushy eyebrow at me, then glanced past.  
"Ah. There y'are," he said.  
I tried not to jump as Alexis suddenly appeared beside me. "Someone said the magic words," she said.  
I gave her a sideways glance. "But you don't-?"  
"Ah, aye," the dwarf cut me off, ignoring me and focusing on Alexis. "I didnae think yon bronze ore'd be allowed ta run around th'woods unsupervised. I'm sure ye heard m'offer; are ye've a mind t'accept likewise?"  
"I am, Master Dwarf," Alexis said. The dwarf nodded, then cocked his head, giving her a peculiar look.  
"You seem awful familiar... Do I-?" he began, but it was Alexis' turn to cut him off.  
"No, Master Dwarf – we have not met, but you may have heard my description," she said and gave an extravagant and leggy bow. "Alexis Dalliance, Adventurer, at your service. This is Feather, my student."  
"'Tis a pleasure to make your acquaintance," the dwarf replied. He crossed an arm over his chest and gave a short bow from the waist. "Geim Orakson of clan Gravelheart, Scrivener, at yours. Ye must ha' travelled some ways, th'pair o'ye?"  
I shook my head. "Oh, we're not-"  
"-as nearly far travelled as you must be Master Gravelheart," Alexis smoothly interrupted me. "Your accent... It's not Stonebridge. Fangthane then?" The dwarf nodded and she gestured to the hut. "We would love to hear about your journey over coffee. Feath' bring the water would you?" Alexis said, guiding Master Gravelheart into the hut.

Master Gravelheart told us a little about his trip down south from a village close to Fangthane's great mount and shared his excellent 'block coffee' with us. Eventually, the rain eased and the sun shone through, enough, he said, for him to be carrying on to the city he'd heard so much about a few miles to the east, and he left us to it. The day wore on; Alexis taught me how to butcher the badger, set me to chopping logs to replenish those we took from stores, and finally, as night set in – followed by yet more rain – helped me cook our long-awaited dinner. It was a passable meal, and I sang a little as we prepared our bedding in the snug hut. Alexis banked the fire and we settled down. I lay there in the warm and dark, listening to the drumming of rain on the roof, wholly unable to sleep. 

  
I blamed the coffee, of course. It was far stronger than anything I was used to, so I laid there, staring up at the timber in the ceiling, and wondered about my mentor's earlier revelation.  
"Alexis, are you awake?" I asked softly.  
"Mm, what is it Bug?" she murmured back, using my pet name.  
"Why did you lie, back in Stonebridge, before I made my vow?"  
"About the orcs?"  
"Mm."  
There was nothing but the rain and wind for the longest time, and I wondered if maybe she had fallen asleep, but then my mentor spoke. "I don't know. It seemed like the right thing to do at the time. I didn't want to upset you, and my mouth ran away with me." I heard her roll over. "It does that sometimes," she muttered, sleepily. "Now get some rest, Bug. We've got a lot to do tomorrow."  
The patter of rain filled the silence again, but I found that now I'd started, I couldn't stop. "Alexis?"  
"Mm?" She replied with an annoyed edge  
"Why did you say my revenge was petty and useless?"  
Again, my fellow woodling was quiet for a long time. Then she gave a heavy sigh, and sat up, twisting to lean against the hut wall.  
"Because it is, love," she said, gazing at me. "Revenge is a stupid and wasteful thing."  
"I don't understand," I said, sitting up myself. "Someone needs to pay for what happened to my family." I watched the flicker of embers on her face, as it added lines where there were usually none, leaving her looking frail and haunted.   
"It wastes so many lives, Bug. The lives of both the seeker and the target, and everyone who stands between them. I've seen so many pointless deaths because of revenge; so much time spent brooding and plotting instead of living." She wrapped her hands around herself and looked away. "I can't stand the idea of that happening to you."  
Her words stopped me short. "Were... Were you ever in my position?" I asked.

My mentor looked back sharply, her eyes wide for a moment. Then she gave a derisory bark of laughter. "No Bug; I was always the target," she said, a hard set to her eyes and jaw and a sour expression crept over her features. "That's how I know," she continued in a dark tone, "that's how I can tell you with absolute certainty, that revenge is a truly ruinous force. The orcs that killed your family were there because of revenge. Yours was one of the many lives destroyed because of revenge aimed at me. There have been countless others, despite my best efforts. Do you see now, Featherdown? Revenge doesn't fulfil anything, it only takes and takes. The man who, through those orcs, killed your parents – he even admitted such before I killed him. He was a broken and hollow thing; years given over to finding the ones who he believed killed his father sapped him of everything he was. He could have found a wife, had a babe of his own but he didn't. He could have done so much with the talent the Gods gave him, but he squandered it, all on a useless thirst that he told me wasn't quenched even by all the destruction he'd wrought that brought me to stand in front of him." Her face, in the ember-light, took on a pained and desperate cast. "I will not let you follow that dark path if I can help it. I will not."  
I was stunned by her words, by the dark ferocity with which she delivered them, and the pained glare which she stared at me with now.  
"But... How am I supposed to let it go?" I asked, a trifle pathetically. "I can't just forget what happened, pretend it never occurred and move on."  
"You're supposed to forgive, Bug," Alexi said quietly. "You accept it, bring it into yourself, and move past it. Be the bigger tree, by surrounding it and using it to help you grow." She paused. "In the village where you grew up, was there anyone ever stupid enough to make their out-house too close to the treeline?"  
"Yes."  
"Tell me what happened when the tree got too big – to close – to the dunny."  
I frowned, not seeing where this was going. "Well, the roots found the effluent, and they got bigger from it, tipping the out-house over."  
"You see?"  
"Not at all."  
Alexis gave a patient sigh. "The tree root was going through some shit, but rather be poisoned and stunted by it, it absorbed the good parts of what it found, left that which did not suit it, and grew the bigger and stronger for it." When she saw my still confused expression, she gave another sigh. "You learn from what happened to you, love. You absorb your experiences and digest them, and you use them to grow who you are as a person. You become stronger from your knowledge of yourself and what happened, and you become the bigger tree."  
I frowned, trying to understand her words, and she gave me a look of loving concern right back.  
"It's not gonna be easy Bug. I know that." Alexis reached over and squeezed my hand. "But I will be here to help you through it, anyway I can – Greg's tab is on me if I lie." She gave me an encouraging smile as she took her hand back from that most solemn vow – picking up the bar tab of a God is no light matter, after all – and made to lay down again. "Just sleep on it _sheinea_. We can tackle it further in the morning, okay?"  
"Alright," I mumbled, as I too re-laid my head.  
"Good night, Sugarbug. I love you."  
"I love you too, _shonmo_."


	3. Epilogue

"What in all Hells were you thinking?" Grand Magus Selene Fridwake demanded. When we had returned to the city, an anxious runner from the Wizard's Tower told us the woodling was needed urgently by Grand Magus Fridwake. Alexis, thinking something was direly wrong, sprinted there directly, leaving me and the runner to catch up. I found them in the Grand Magus's office, just in time for the start of the yelling.  
"Sel, calm down. What's wrong? What are you talking about?" Alexis said, puffing and doubled over.  
"You left the city! You broke the Edict! Why? How could you do such a thing!" the Grand Magus roared.  
"Sel, please. Slow down." Aleix took in large gulps of air, recovering her wind quickly. She held out a hand to the furious wizard in a placating gesture. "I took Feath' to Whitewood copse to train her."  
"How did you get back in? Does General Strucker know?"  
"Which one is Strucker?"  
"The General, due to take over from Elmwood," Aunt Selene said. Alexis just shrugged, confused. "The tall one-"  
"They're all tall!" my mentor snapped. "Regardless, I got a special writ from the court of Libra, to show my exit was a training exercise and nothing more."  
"Nothing more?" the Grand Magus yelled, her glasses slipping down her nose. "Nothing more! Alexis Dalliance, you are by far the stupidest woodling I ever met!"

My mentor stared, then her brow furrowed. "Seriously Sel, what has got your pants in such a bunch? We. Were. Training," she repeated, loudly and emphatically.  
"You broke the Edict!"  
"I broke nothing!"  
"You broke your oath!"  
"I broke  _ nothing _ !" Alexis snarled back. "We were five miles away, at most! Easily close enough for you to summon me back with a teleport, if you were so inclined. The city was never defenceless! I did not break the Edict! I did not break my oath!"  
"That's not the point!"  
"Then tell me what is!"  
" _ You _ went outside the city." Aunt Selene spoke with a low fury now, the human's shoulders pulled back and taut. " _ You _ . The trouble magnet. The strife-causer! The one with the black dog at her heels! Who knows what new calamity you could have brought down on us all,  _ just by being  _ **_you_ ** !"

Alexis straightened, shock and horror on her face. She stepped back, as the wizard realized what she'd just said.  
The Grand Magus wilted, her eyes wide with horror and a hand outstretched towards her retreating companion. "Alexis. No. I didn't-"  
"Yes. Yes, you did," Alexis said, in a tight little voice. "And you are right. You have a whole city to look after now, and I did not think about the consequences." She turned away, hugging herself. "After all," she added with a small shrug, "who convinced Richard that a few extra hours exploring would not cause harm to our new home? Who killed Xanthril's father, and brought his wrath down on Allansia? Who convinced Hex we should leave the Cabal to the angels."  
"Alexis, no," Aunt Selene said, her voice close to breaking. "Those were group decisions..."  
"Who wanted to investigate the White Lady?" Alexis rounded on the wizard, her voice rising. "Who would not leave well enough alone? Who kept poking, and prodding, until her beloved city fell, and nearly took the whole world with it!" she screamed. I backed myself into a corner, unnoticed in the shadows. I'd never seen her this angry, this... scared.  
"Alexis, stop..." the Grand Magus pleaded, her hands held out to the furious woodling.  
"I was supposed to protect them! I promised them homes! I promised them  _ safety _ ! Instead, I gave them nightmare upon nightmare and I--" Alex froze, mid-rant, her face a rictus of terror at her realization. "I let the demons in." Her eyes darted, and she panted. "Just like he said I would, just like he wanted all those years ago. I finally fell to his whim..."  
"No. 'Lex, no, it was all of us. No one fell. We just weren't strong enough. Egrim, he-"  
"He was my responsibility," the woodling said, in that same dead, monotone voice she had used before. "You looked to me to lead you, and I failed."  
"You did not fail!" the Grand Magus, shouted, her voice filled with tears. "Don't you dare say that! Don't you ever! We wouldn't be here today without you." Selene gulped down air, and I watched as her demeanour became still. The human took long strides, her yellow robe glancing the wooden floor, and wrapped her arms around my mentor, so all I could see was the top of her dark hair.  
"Alexis, be calm now," she said, her tone hushed, still filled with unshed tears. Behind Alexis's head, her hands fluttered. "Be calm now and sleep."  
"But Sel-"  
"Hush now," the mage said, and began to lilt in a language I didn't understand: " _Et sominum, vale. La-crimæ, ben curreair es arda_." As she sang, Alexis seemed to droop in her arms, until the mage held her nearly prone. Aunt Selene looked up, and I saw her face was streaked with tears.  
"Featherdown," she called softly. "I know you're in here somewhere. Please go and fetch my assistant, an elf named Thaddeus. He's just down the hall. Tell him I need a travel cot and Kanta Andile." Without a sound, I moved to the door. "Oh, and Feather?" the mage called, just as I was about to leave. "You mustn't mention this to anyone else. Ever. Do you understand?"  
"Yes Grand Magus," I said and left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little background on this chapter (at the end so it doesn't spoil anything): Alexis took a personal oath to never leave the city of Torguard undefended, after the numerous times it was attacked/ destroyed in her absence. She was also given a travelling ban by the newly formed council due to their belief that she and her friends had been responsible for said attacks and destruction, particularly the part where Old Torguard got eaten by a Hellmouth. At the point of this story, it's been only a few years since the majority of building works have been completed.
> 
> I realised a little while after writing the main part of this, that there needed to be some consequences for Alexis breaking her oath and her ban. So: cue a screaming argument with her best friend, Arch-mage and newly appointed member of the Triumverate council.
> 
> The song lyrics are: "And I dream, of goodbye. No more tears. Well’s run dry" - Dream of Goodbye by Miracle of Sound


End file.
